Veering Off the Path

Ugh! This last week was hard for me. I don’t know if was depressed about not returning to Ohio for a while or fighting off a virus … mostly likely a bit of both.

So excuse the belated blog post. Last weekend (May13-15) was awesome! Friday I met up with the hubs in CVG (the boat’s been in Charleston for the last few weeks, so we had to fly in separate). My parents pick us up and after a quick change of clothes, we watched the Reds win while I consumed two LARGE pieces of LaRosa’s pizza that I had been talking about for weeks! The game was followed by Rozzi fireworks and a concert of what is left of CCR. AND we even make it on the jumbo-tron!

The hubs, me and my parents sportin' our Reds gear

Saturday was Kimmy’s wedding. She looked gorgeous!!!!!

KimmyJo walking down the aisle looking soooooo pretty!

Mark and I had a blast dancing and eating cake (we even scored an extra piece! Yeah!).

It was a bit strange being back in Cincinnati, as it was the first time I felt like I was an outsider. I don’t know if that’s the right word. I LOVED being with the girls, but maybe it was a realization that my life isn’t on the same path as theirs. Somehow in my naivety, I always figured my friends and I would hold hands, skipping down the same yellow-bricked (… actually, hot pink) road of life. It’s not like we don’t all want the same things: career, spouse, house, dogs, kids, etc., it’s just that some are more on the same path while others are checking the boxes in a different order.

Here are some of the wonderful ladies. I heart them!

It was an awakening. Mark and I aren’t in market for owning a house, and we are nowhere near the vicinity of having kids, and while the other half of the girls are focused on their careers, I am back in school. By the time I finish my program and take my boards I will be nearing the big three-0. Not a big deal, except while most of my friends will have spent last eight or nine years advancing their careers, I will just be starting out … again. :(

And while Mark and I have been tossing ideas of where to live after I graduate (Charleston? NC? VA?), I know moving back to Ohio isn’t an option (unless by the grace of God, some tugboat company offers Mark a barge-side of a pay check. Even then, I doubt Mark will be content living so far inland). Knowing that cements that I will no longer even have the possibility of being on their path.

I do know that along my path, Mark and I will find somewhere to settle. Someday when we entertain the idea of parenting, there will be other people around that will be in the same situation, and our paths will merge. I guess being back home was a bit of a farewell. I will only be back for holidays or special occasions – not as easy to just hang out anymore.

I am grateful for the experiences I have been afforded. While I like to think that I always took full advantage of opportunities presented to me, my life in the last three years has been quiet an adventure. I have worked on a boat, been to exotic islands, moved across country, to a city that might as well be in another country … and managed to not get into an accident or completely lost while navigating the "Survivor"-esque roads of Miami. I entered a Master’s program that is WAY different than my previous journalism degree and joined Junior League, so I could feel like I am making a difference in my new "home," whether I’m feel completely home or (more likely) not.

I don’t know if I would have had all these opportunities, and those that await, if I stayed in Cincinnati. I also don’t know if I would have been content not knowing what could be out there. So yeah, my path is veering away from my friends. Which sucks because they are amazing women who make me feel so wonderful that I am writing a blog because it bothers me how much I miss them. And as a control freak I’m a bit envious that a lot of them seem to have settled down, while my future is so unsettled.

I know that more than anything I am so grateful for these women. I want when I say, “Please let me know if I can help,” to it mean more than just words. I want to be able to babysit, help them move, go out to eat or to a movie or sit and talk ... and not have to have it be crammed into a few hours in a way-too-short weekend.

Ugh! No wonder I was so exhausted last week. On a more positive note, my next post will be about my pups. And, I am already plotting two extra trips back to the O-hi-o before the end of summer. They girls may not get away from me that easily after all :)