Motherhood comes in all shape and sizes, in all ways and forms.
My own mother has been running a non-profit for almost 30 years that has proved just that, guiding birthmothers on a journey to adoption, informing potential adoptive mothers that they will be mothers, encouraging communication between families. She’s seen gradmothers, aunts, best friend’s mothers and teachers take the place of a mother for a teen who is just trying to figure this world out.
My mother’s own journey into motherhood was a bit skewed as well.
After being told she couldn’t have children, her and my father applied for adoption. Then a great bundle of joy (ME!) came -- and then she gave birth to three others.
I remember asking about my birthmother when I was little. I remember others asking me if I knew my “real” mother. Honestly, I sort of wrote my birthmother off as one of those teenage girls who was sitting in my mother’s living room, hoping to right poor decisions.
It wasn’t until my own friends started having children could I only imagine what it took to spend nine months caring for a child that wouldn’t be yours. And not only that, she had no idea who the parents would be; my adoption was closed. She made a brave choice, a wise choice, realizing for whatever reason she was not ready to parent and rather prove “haters” wrong, she would take a leap of faith.
My own mother took a leap of faith. Because my adoption was closed, she wasn’t a part of the pregnancy. She didn’t have the ability to meet my birthmother. Her world changed overnight. It's very brave to adopt a child, a child without your DNA, without your genetics. A child whose history and background is vague.
But perhaps that's the cool thing about motherhood. It's experiences, not blood, that grow relationships.
I never considered my mother my "adoptive mother." She is my real mom. She is enough.
So Happy Mother’s Day to my mom.
To all adoptive mothers. To all birthmothers. To all the stepmothers. To all mothers who had a child and had to say goodbye too soon. To all those mothers in waiting. To all grandmothers, aunts, teachers or others who have stepped up for a child whose “real” mother is absent for whatever reason.
To all moms.
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| my grams |
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| my mother-in-law, Anne |
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| My sister-in-law Shannon, the newest mother, who just gave birth to Baby Josh earlier this week |
